1. People who step onto trains and tubes and just stop. There are no words.
2. Being squashed onto the train and having to get up close and personal with just about anyone. Cigarettes and coffee breath. Yum.
3. Never leave topping up your card until getting to Oxford Circus. Hell on earth.
4. South West Trains in general.
5. The lingering toilet and BO smell on South Eastern Trains. VOM.
6. People who lean against the poles on the tube. It's fine, I'll just take down everyone around me.
7. People who are oblivious to those who should really have a seat. Yes you, you just carry on reading and pretend you can't see that nice little old lady.
8. Teenagers who think it's funny to try and get away without paying on the bus, especially the night bus. It's not funny I WANT TO GET HOME.
9. The people who get on the tube with a million Primark bags. They should have to pay a double fare, seriously.
10. Oxford Circus at 6pm when they shut the gates. If you know, you know.
11. School groups. Because commuting isn't hard enough.
12. People who put their bags on the seat next to them during rush hour. I don't care how expensive your handbag/briefcase is I will find you and I will target you.
13. The complete shame that comes when your Oyster card plays up and there's a queue of people behind you.
14. Parents who think it's a good idea to take their children on a rush hour train during half term. YOU HAVE ALL OF THE TIME.
15. People who stand on the left of the escalators. Seriously?!
16. How impatient staff at fast food outlets in stations are - we just want to be friends, now please handover the cheeseburgers!
17. Fellow passengers who find it appropriate to exit the station via the 'no exit' staircase. Wait your bloody turn.
18. The specific type of anger that can only be caused by the 'we are sorry to announce that the 8.08 service to London Waterloo has been delayed/cancelled' announcement, normally as a result of a drop of rain. All of the rage.
19. People who make really personal calls on the train/bus. This is not the time to be calling HSBC about the fraudulent attempts on your card or wailing to your boyfriend about your latest fight.
20. People who undercut you when the train/tube arrives. There are rules here people.
21. "Signalling problems"
22. People shouting 'can you move down please' when there's no where to go (until you're forced to say it, the shame).
23. The off peak Oyster lingerers. Do you seriously have to wait by the gates?
24. Falling asleep on an overground and going out of zone on the last train of the day. You are now approaching Guildford. FML.
25. And when it finally gets to Friday, Weekend travel is worse than commuting during the week and no amount of tutting at tourists will make up for it.