Unfriended: the social detox pt I
At the end of last year I made a pact with myself to be more positive and to put more energy into the things/people who matter the most. I thought it was about time I banished all of the toxic influences in my life or past by assessing my friend situation online and in real life.
When I joined Facebook in 2006, I remember adding everyone. That girl I took English Literature with in college, added. That guy from the year above at school, added. But how many of these people do I want to share my life with on social media? Sure, there are privacy settings, but do I really want to go to the effort of excluding the majority of my friend list? Are these people bothered about what I'm up to, probably not, but you'd be surprised who sees your latest posts.
After a small cull last month my friend count stands at 563. (Culling!? This isn't Richmond Park, I hear you cry). I decided to delete anyone who i had negative associations with. Do I really need to see pictures of that guy I used to date having brunch with his girlfriend? Or that girl who stopped returning my calls?
No. Cut that shit out.
I'm also guilty of the biggest offence on Facebook, being friends with people whom you don't like or you know don't like you. I remember walking out of a club toilet and bumping into a girl I went to school with. I raised a smile, but she ignored me. Was it because she didn't recognise me or was it because I used to date her friends boyfriend? Either way, why were we friends on Facebook if we couldn't even muster a fake greeting in real life? I mean who can't raise a fake smile FFS!?
So when looking at my friends on Facebook or any social media I try to ask myself these questions:
1). Do I want this person to see my photos/statuses?
2). Would we acknowledge each other in real life?
3). If we did would we have more than 30 seconds of awkward chat?
4). Would we actually hang out?
I remember one of my ex boyfriends (never actually admitted he was my boyfriend at the time) deleted me off Facebook but remained connected with our mutual friends. I was pretty miffed when it happened and sent him a private facebook message...
'You've got to burn the dead wood for the forest to flourish'.
Initial thoughts...bit wanky. But then I realised he had a point (even if it pains me to admit it). If me popping up on his Facebook feed every day was interrupting his thoughts or happiness, then he was right to delete me. And now I try to use the same logic (without the wanky undertones).
Being on Facebook everyday we are subjected to lots of information. It's our job to filter it.
Filtering 563 friends...hmmm!?
A bit about tomorrow's post:
So it's easy or easier to hit the unfriend button on Facebook, but what about terminating friendships in 'real life?'
There's no drama on our social sites so unfriend some one and follow us.
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